


Tell Me You Love Me

by WildflowerRose



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bellamy and Clarke baby, Bellarke Baby, Canon, Childbirth, Clarke Griffin kids, Clarke and Bellamy kiss, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/M, Gen, Lemon, Multi, Oral Sex, Parenthood, Pregnant Clarke Griffin, Sex, Smut, Spoilers-ish (cause it's a different ending but some of the same plot points ), The 100 s4/s5, Unplanned Pregnancy, bellarke love scene
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:53:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24318376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildflowerRose/pseuds/WildflowerRose
Summary: Imminent death tends to bring people closer, in more ways than one. When Clarke and Bellamy finally tell each other how they feel in the days before Praimfaya, things get heated. After the nuclear plants irradiate the earth, Clarke survives, with unexpected results nine months later.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Echo, Clarke Griffin & Madi
Comments: 22
Kudos: 162





	1. Chapter 1

"Well, it looks like we're all going to die!" 

Clarke laughed, then let out a sigh as she shook her blonde curls free from the braid on top of her head. So Bellamy was using humor to deal with all of this. Great. Normally, she would have been annoyed and lectured him about how he shouldn't give up, but right now she just didn't have it in her. It had been a long couple days dealing with the Nightblood testing fiasco and Jaha's whole fake shelter thing, and she was out of motivational speeches. 

"So this is the end?" Clarke said, flopping backwards onto Bellamy's cot. "This can't be the end. Everything that happened with the Ark, the grounders, the mountain men... was it all for nothing?" 

Bellamy sat down next to her and leaned his head back against the wall. "What can we do? You said the Nightblood didn't work, and the shelter isn't radiation proof, and we can't repurpose the Ark either. Honestly, I think Jasper might be right. Why are we even fighting this?" He smirked a little, glancing down at Clarke. He knew what her reply would be before she spoke, but the annoyed look on her face made him pause. 

Clarke closed her eyes and sighed again. "That's not funny Bell. I- " 

"No I'm serious. I think we should embrace this cosmic joke and make the best of it."

Clarke cracked one eye open and looked at Bellamy. She opened her mouth to argue, but then realized she just didn't have the energy. "Ok." 

"Ok?" Bellamy was verrry confused now. Clarke was agreeing with him? 

"Ok. I'm tired of fighting. For right now at least, I think we should just enjoy life and not worry about the future." A smiling Clarke sat up and looked into Bellamy's shocked eyes. "Don't look so surprised, Bell. I can have fun." 

Bellamy laughed and lightly elbowed Clarke's arm. He had never seen her like this before. He knew he should be worried, but he was enjoying "chill Clarke" and wanted to see where he could go with this. "Oh, you can have fun? I highly doubt that. The world could be perfect and we could all be safe and you would still be worrying about something. I don't think I have ever seen you relaxed and not stressed about survival and stuff like that."

Clarke turned towards him with an annoyed look on her face. "Stuff like that?!? What, you mean food and shelter and medicine and peace and- " 

"Clarke, you're not really helping prove me wrong." Bellamy grinned and looked down at the annoyed blonde. He couldn't help but notice her leg pressed up against his, felling tiny sparks of warmth every time she moved. He glanced away quickly, attempting to banish any romantic thoughts he had about Clarke. They were just friends, anything more would be weird. At least, he thought it would be weird. Would it be weird, though? He couldn't stop watching her every time they were in the same room, and he thought he had been catching her watching him... no, he was probably imagining it. Clarke interrupted his train of thought with a cute little "hmph."

"I can be fun, and I know just how to show you." Clarke turned and reached into her bag, pulling out two bottles of Monty's moonshine.

"Who is this new Clarke?" Bellamy said with raised eyebrows, grinning at her excited face.

Clarke giggled. "This is tired of trying to fix everything Clarke. She likes getting drunk."

Bellamy smiled in approval. "I like this Clarke. She should visit more often, she's much more enjoyable than the orig-"

"Less talking, more drinking" Clarke said, handing him one bottle and taking a long sip from the other.

Clarke and Bellamy both quickly downed half their bottles in record time, ignoring the intense burn that followed the homemade alcohol. The moonshine loosened Clarke's lips, and she began talking to Bellamy about how she was really feeling as the end of the world approached. Bellamy watched her talk, enjoying the mix of serious looks she had from thinking about Praimfaya and relaxed looks from liquor. He watched her without listening, never taking his eyes off hers and thinking about the feeling of her leg against his.

Clarke had winced after the first sip of moonshine, but now she was enjoying it. Drinking made it easier to talk about how she was feeling, and Bellamy had always been a good listener, although right now it seemed like he wasn't listening. He was just watching her with this weird look on his face. It was kind of... loving? Protective? She wasn't sure. She had been noticing more and more lately how the sunrise hit his soft brown curls just right, and how sweet his goofy smile was. Bellamy had been so annoying when the 102 kids first landed, but now? She couldn't imagine living without him. He was her rock, and she got the feeling that she was his. As she thought all this, Clarke continued rambling on about her worries and fears, never taking her eyes off Bellamy. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Bellamy stopped her words with a kiss, pressing his soft lips against hers mid-sentence.

Clarke pulled back, shocked. What was Bellamy doing!??!? They couldn't just... well, why couldn't they? Everyone was going to die anyway.

Bellamy, flustered, said, "Clarke, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me, I shouldn't have don-"

This time, it was Clarke's turn to cut off his words with a kiss, wrapping her arms around his head and twisting her fingers into his silky curls. Bellamy hesitated at first before kissing her back, tentatively at first and then feverishly. Their lips grew hot as the kiss became more urgent, wrapping them together and melting away any hesitation either of them had felt. Bellamy felt Clarke's hands slowly move down his body to the bottom of his his shirt. She broke away from the kiss and looked into Bellamy's darkened eyes for permission. He kissed her again in response, and let her pull it off. Clarke's hands gently stroked his defined abs, softly outlining each one with her fingers, feeling the warmth of his body against her. Bellamy ripped off Clarke's shirt and began kissing away from her mouth and down her neck. 

Clarke moaned softly as he sucked his warm lips against her collarbone, leaving a trail of little spots of heat travelling to the top of her breast. Clarke unclipped her bra, and Bellamy smoothly pulled it off, stopping to admire her for only a moment before kissing her nipple. As he licked one, his hand played with the other, eliciting moans of pleasure from Clarke's mouth. She reached into his pants and grabbed his erection, touching and stroking it as he tortured her breasts.

Bellamy groaned as Clarke caressed him, bringing him closer and closer to the edge. He began kissing down her chest and stomach, stopping just above her legs. With her permission, he pulled off her pants and underwear, leaving Clarke completely naked under him. He wasted no time in kissing down the rest of her stomach to that tiny hot button, licking and sucking on her clit. Bellamy went torturously slow, teasing Clarke as she moaned with pleasure. He reached into his pants to finish what Clarke started, rubbing himself as he ate her until they were both begging to finish.

He moved his lips up her body, much to Clarke's protest. Bellamy kissed her lips, letting her taste herself, cutting off her plea for him to bring her all the way. Clarke, frustrated, reached down and ripped Bellamy's pants off, moving to blow him, but Bellamy stopped her, pulling her into his lap so she was facing him.

Clarke lowered herself onto his rock hard length, feeling him slide in with a moan. Damn he felt good. She hadn't slept with a guy in a while, so she winced a little, but Bellamy went slow. Bellamy wrapped his arms around Clarke and pulled her closer, moaning as her tight warm entrance began to grind with him inside. They were both soaking wet and ready from the first thrust, and came quickly, writhing and screaming each other's names.

They made love for hours, falling asleep in each other's arms that night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little short and its been a while, but I promise I will update more often! A big reason this is so short is because this chapter mostly serves as an edited recap/summary of what happens in The 100 right before Praimfaya.

"Ugh." The morning sun streaming in through a crack in the wall hit Clarke's eyes, forcing her awake. As she moved to sit up, her head split apart, pounding at her temples with unrelenting pain and pressure. She tried to stand and immediately thought the better of it as waves of nausea began, mumbling "I think I'm gonna throw up" a little louder than she meant to. The noise woke Bellamy, who was sleeping next to Clarke.

"Mphphp" he grumbled, pressing his face into the pillow to avoid the evil, evil sunlight. Everything hurt, and he had only just woken up. This was definitely not going to be a fun day. He turned his head to the side as he felt Clarke push off the blanket and stand, still completely naked from last night's activities. Ignoring his hammering head, he sat up a little at the sight of her round ass as she walked across the room to pick up her clothes. 

Damn she's gorgeous. 

He would have been turned on by the sight if the nausea hadn't hit right at that moment.

As Bellamy tried his best not to throw up all over the bed, Clarke stumbled around the room collecting her clothes. Suddenly, she realized she was walking around completely naked in front of Bellamy. The heat rose to her cheeks, and she blushed flaming red with embarrassment. She threw her clothes on and turned back towards Bellamy, who had finally woken up and was sitting with his head in his hands.

"Look, Bellamy, I think we should t-" 

Bellamy's head rose at the mention of his name, and he smirked, cutting her off with a simple "let's talk about it later"

"Stop interrupting me," Clarke huffed, her annoyance exacerbated by her pounding head and rolling stomach. "I was going to say we should think about more solutions to Praimfaya. I was thinking about maybe trying more nightblood? I know it didn't work during the trials in Becca's lab but we really have no other options and-"

"Wait, that's all you have to say Clarke? What about last night? We had s-" 

This time, Clarke was the one cutting Bellamy off. "Like you said, let's talk about it later. We have more important things to worry about right now. You know, like everybody dying in a second nuclear apocalypse."

"Yeah. Ok. I have to deal with Jasper and the others anyway." Bellamy sighed and stood up to get dressed, and Clarke turned away, blushing again at seeing him totally naked in the light of day. He looked so... not that she had time to think about that right now, anyway. She mumbled goodbye and walked out of the room to find Raven and ask her about going back to the lab.

Bellamy watched Clarke walk out, annoyed but unsurprised at the way she brushed off talking about what had happened last night. The talking, then the kissing, then the ripping off her clothes and... doing things to her... making her feel things... the way she made him feel things. He smiled to himself, laughing a little as her remembered her indignance this morning. The morning after. _Their_ morning after. His grin was wiped from his face with a dry heave, reminding him why he hadn't grabbed her naked body as soon as she got out of bed. If only the hangover wasn't so bad.

\---

The next couple days passed without Clarke and Bellamy seeing each other.

Clarke was surprised to find herself both relieved and disappointed she hadn't run into him, but soon found herself distracted with the news that Jaha had found a radiation proof bunker. She abandoned her nightblood plan (it didn't look promising anyway) and focused instead on preparing to move her people to the bunker. The bunker was proving to be a problem, though. Word had spread about the discovery, and other clans were fighting for a spot. It had turned violent. Octavia was the one who had the idea to make it a competition, but all Clarke could think about was another clan winning. What would her people do then?

She distracted herself with thoughts of Bellamy. For a few seconds, she was transported back to that amazing night. He made her feel so good, and touching herself just wasn't the same as his tongue on her clit. The things he did to her... Gah, no! Not right now. Clarke smacked her face. Now was not the time to get horny fantasizing about Bellamy. There were much more important things to worry about. The world being obliterated in a ball of nuclear fire and everyone she loved dying, for one. She groaned and put her head down on the table she was working at. Why did everything have to be so hard?

Bellamy was in Polis preparing for the conclave to decide which clan would have control of the bunker. He had wanted the Arkadians to go the bunker as soon as it had been discovered, but that hadn't worked, and now all he could think about was what would happen if Octavia didn't win the conclave. Well, not _all_ he could think about. As he sat in a strategy meeting, he felt his mind wander to the feisty blonde he had slept with just a few days ago. Just thinking about Clarke made him smile. She'd be so annoyed he was distracted at such an important time. It felt like another lifetime ago he'd held her in his arms and made her beg to be touched, to be kissed. A million years since she'd pulled off his shirt and reached into his pants and... No. No time to think about that now.


	3. Chapter 3

The conclave for the bunker had finally ended, and not a moment too soon. Octavia won the brutal, bloody battle, and told the clans to choose members to send in the bunker. People wept and said goodbyes to their loved ones. Those chosen to survive went into the bunker, and those instructed to die waited for the inevitable. A few members of Skaikru (the nightblood creation team) and some grounders headed back to Becca's lab to gather supplies, but the radiation wave is quickly approaching.

Praimfaya has begun.

\---

Clark frantically raced around the lab looking for hydroponic farming equipment and an extra oxygen generator for the bunker. Her people would need these crucial supplies if they had any chance of surviving five years in a stone and metal box underground. Raven, who had somehow cured herself, was searching for supplies too, and Murphy and Emori (weirdest combo ever, in her opinion) were also in the lab. So was Bellamy.

As she rushed around searching (they did kind of have a deadline, the rover ride back to the bunker took two hours. Also the impending wave of nuclear radiation, which she was really trying not to think about.) Clarke tried to put thoughts of Bellamy out of her mind. She hadn't had a face-to-face conversation with him since the night they got drunk and slept together, and now everything was just so awkward.

It certainly didn't help that she couldn't stop thinking about him.

Forcing herself to be calm, Clarke loaded the supplies into the rover, focused on getting back to her mom before the death wave hit. Raven and Monty threw supplies into the back and climbed in, joining Emori, Echo, Murphy, and Harper.

"So, are we ready to get this show on the road? Or do you need more time to get beauty supplies?" Murphy asked, annoyance at how close they were cutting it clearly written on his face.

"Shut up John," Emori mumbled.

Clarke glared at him. "Yes, John, shut up," she said. Was he serious? What an ungrateful ass. What could Emori possibly see in him? He was so moody and unreliable, so dark. Not that she had better taste. She had slept with Bellamy of all people. _Bellamy_. Mr. "Whatever The Hell We Want." No, that wasn't fair. He had changed and matured since then, and he had saved her at Mount Weather. Still, he was so... Bellamy.

Clarke pushed her thoughts of Bellamy out of her mind for the hundredth time that day. Boys were at the bottom of her priority list at the moment.

Bellamy rushed out of the bunker carrying the last of the supplies. He tossed them to Clarke, who was standing at the back loading things in.

"Let's GO," Murphy loudly called out, impatience lacing his words. "We need to leave NOW."

"Put a sock in it Murphy," Bellamy yelled, glaring at Murphy. He glanced down at a visibly annoyed Clarke shoving an oxygen generator into the back of the rover, and reached over to help her. His arm brushed against hers, and for a just a second, he felt the electricity between them. The electricity they'd had that night. Clarke's breath caught in her throat, and her head snapped around, her eyes meeting his. For a moment, they were in another world, their problems melting away. The moment didn't last.

"IF WE DON'T LEAVE RIGHT NOW WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Murphy yelled, startling Clarke and Bellamy apart.

Damn, Murphy was so annoying. He and Clarke had been having a moment. They did have a moment right? He wasn't just imagining it? No, this was not the time to be stressing over girls. He could do that later, in the bunker. He climbed into the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition. "Murphy, shut up. Everyone buckle in. We're leaving"

Bellamy turned on the engine, and hit the gas, more than ready to drive back to camp as fast as possible and get inside the bunker. The engine roared to life, a little too loudly. It began making a loud creaking sound, jerking the rover back and forth. 

"BELLAMY, TURN IT OFF! EVERYBODY OUT NOW!" Raven yelled, jumping out and wrenching the top of the rover open. Smoke poured out.

Raven waved it away, looking down at the corroded and burnt pieces that had once been an engine. She frantically tried to think of some way to fix it, but the engine was broken beyond repair. 

"DAMN IT." She slammed her hands down on the engine and looked up at the group with tears in her eyes. "This isn't going anywhere," she said, resignation in her voice.

"Great," Murphy grumbled angrily, walking away.

Clarke looked around at the disheartened eyes surrounding her. Even Bellamy looked defeated. This couldn't be then end. They weren't going to die this way. Were they? Before she had a chance to say anything, Emori ran off after Murphy, and Harper and Monty went back into Becca's lab for a private goodbye. Raven followed, yelling every curse word she could think of and some Clarke had never heard before.

So this is the end. Everyone has given up. As if Bellamy could read her thoughts, he walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"This isn't the end, Clarke. It can't be. We will figure something out." He looked down at her blonde head, and saw it shake slightly. She raised her head and met his eyes, tears threatening to fall at any moment. His heart broke at the sight of Clarke in pain. All he wanted to do was make it all better for her. He wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her tiny frame.

For a brief moment, Clarke felt completely safe. She felt warm and happy. She felt loved. That moment came crashing down as Bellamy let go of her.

All Bellamy could think about was Clarke. Yes, they'd had sex, and yes, it'd been fantastic sex, but they were drunk and stressed. He had been in love with her since she tried to boss him around in their first days on the ground, but maybe she didn't feel the same about him. Maybe he'd just been a distraction. Clarke looked up at him with soft, sad eyes, and he barely managed to keep himself from scooping her up and letting her go.

Clarke looked into Bellamy's eyes and saw a look she couldn't put a name to, but that she'd seen before. When she kissed him that night, he'd had the same starstruck look on his face. Why? It didn't matter anyway, they were all going to die soon. Well, if this was going to be their last few hours alive, might as well make them memorable. She stretched onto her toes and softly pressed her lips against Bellamy's, gently kissing him.

Bellamy, startled, pulled away and looked deep into Clarke's glowing blue eyes.

She stared into his chocolaty browns.

Clarke saw the look in Bellamy's eyes again, like he was hungry for something. "Bellamy, what's-"

Bellamy cut her off with a passionate kiss, crushing her lips with his, devouring her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her body towards his, pressing her into him. After a long moment, he pulled away, taking Clarke's face into his hands. He gazed down at the beautiful girl in front of him, and decided to say it. Why not? It's not like they have a future or anything. 

He took a deep breath, and said "Clarke, I lo-"

Raven burst outside, yelling at the top of her lungs, "EVERYONE GET IN HERE. I THINK I FOUND A WAY TO SAVE US!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my chapter lengths and post dates are super inconsistent but I'm working on making them longer and posting more often.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while! I started writing this chapter a few weeks ago and then some stuff happened and I couldn't finish it until today, so my writing is a little off for parts of it. I hope you like it!

Clarke took a deep breath and leaned against the wall. Raven had explained the plan to escape on the rocket and use it to go back to the Ark in detail. She seemed sure it would work. So why did it feel like something was going to go wrong?

\---

Raven walked into the main lab, a determined look on her face. "OK, everything is ready. All we have to do now is wait an hour for the Ark's Orbit to be in the right place, and then we can launch. I should probably check the oxygen generator..." She trailed off and absentmindedly walked over to the generator, tinkering with part of it.

The others spread out, gathering things to bring to the Ark and radioing people in the bunker to say goodbye. Clarke talked to her mom.

"Yeah, mom. We're going to be ok, and we'll see each other again in five years. What's five years? It'll be gone in the blink of an eye." She laughed softly, fighting off tears. "I know, mom. I love you too. Can you put on Jaha? Monty wants to talk to him."

Clarke turned and handed the speaker to Monty without looking him in the eye. She didn't want him to see the tears threatening to pour out at any minute. Goddammit, she was doing fine before saying goodbye to her mom. Now she was about to turn into a crying mess. She hurriedly left the main lab and went into one of the small side rooms scientists had used to sleep in back when Becca was still using the lab. The rooms had small beds, and she sank down onto one. Finally alone, Clarke felt the overwhelming weight of staying strong for everyone else slip off her shoulders. Hot, silent tears began to pour down her face, and the pain of almost losing everyone she loved hit her like a truck. She heard the door to the room open, and looked up.

Bellamy looked into the deep blue eyes in Clarke's tear streaked face. Watching silent tears run down her cheeks, his heart broke once again.

Without saying a word, he walked smoothly over to Clarke and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed, finally losing the battle with her emotions as he held her. Bellamy gently rocked back and forth, kissing the top of Clarke's head and murmuring "It's ok. It's ok. Everything's going to be ok. I've got you."

Bellamy had just finished saying goodbye to Octavia, one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. Saying goodbye to his baby sister wrecked him, and the sight of Clarke crying was just too much to bear. He needed to hold her, not just to make her feel better but to make himself feel better too.

He softly nuzzled the side of Clarke's face, which she lifted from his shoulder. Their eyes, both shining with tears, met. Even if everyone else they loved was trapped in a bunker for the next five years, at least they would have each other. They needed each other. They needed to feel close to someone, and loved.

Slowly, Clarke and Bellamy moved closer, closing the distance between them, until their lips were just a whisper apart. Bellamy looked into Clarke's eyes and softly asked, "Are you sure?"

Clarke brought her lips to his and kissed Bellamy, long and soft and slow. She pulled away, and whispered, "Yes."

They kissed again, but this time was different. There was nothing soft or gentle about this kiss. It was full of pain and longing and desperation, and hope. Clarke and Bellamy needed each other, in a way only the truly hurt can.

Devouring her soft lips, Bellamy ripped Clarke's jacket off her as she pulled off his shirt. Her hands ran down his chiseled abs. God, she loved his abs. Clarke pulled off her shirt, and wrapped her arms around Bellamy's neck. With every second they kissed, Clarke could feel the bulge in Bellamy's pants getting larger, pressing the hot spot between her thighs. He reached his arms around her, grabbing her ass and lifting her up. Clarke's legs wrapped around Bellamy's waist, pressing their torsos together. Bellamy groaned as she grinded into his boner, slamming her against the wall.

Still holding Clarke, Bellamy reached around her and pulled off her bra, exposing two round, firm breasts. Clarke gasped as the cold air hit them, making her nipples harden and rub Bellamy's chest. The sight made Bellamy harden even more, and he carried Clarke over to one of the beds, leaning forward so her back was on the bed. Clarke started to pull off Bellamy's pants, and kicked hers off at the same time.

Bellamy lay Clarke down on the bed, and paused to look at her. She was his, and only his. Her face, flushed pink, led down to a pair of perfect boobs, which he began to kiss. Bellamy kissed his way down her toned stomach to the top of her green underwear. He kissed down the side of her leg, and then back up the inside of her thigh. As he got closer and closer to the top of her thigh, Clarke's breathing sped up, and her eyes closed. Bellamy reached her underwear, and began to rub her clit through the fabric. Clarke's hands dug into the blanket, and her muscles tightened as her breath hitched. He slipped a finger under the waistband and felt her soaking wet clit, and began to stroke her, up and down.

Clarke moaned as Bellamy rubbed her clit, torturing her by going slow and stopping whenever she came close. Clarke's breath hitched and her back arched as she neared completion once again, but Bellamy still stopped short of bringing her all the way.

Clarke moaned in frustration. "Bellamy I swear to GOD I am going to-"

He looked up, smirked, and asked, "You're going to what?"

Clarke glared at him with an evil glint in her eye. "I'm going to do THIS." She forcefully grabbed his already hard dick through his pants, aggressively massaging it. Bellamy gasped, and then laughed. "Damn, woman, you are something."

Clarke pulled his pants off the whole way and grabbed his erection, slowly stroking back and forth. Bellamy gasped and grabbed her, kissing her until the feeling of her rubbing his dick overwhelmed him. She kept touching him until he was begging for her to finish, laughing as she exacted her revenge by stopping every time he came close to completion.

He'd had enough of it. Bellamy groaned and whispered in Clarke's ear, "Clarke, I need you."

"I'm ready" she whispered back, kissing Bellamy's ear. She slowly kissed him across his face until she reached his firm lips.

Bellamy pushed Clarke farther back on the bed so he was lying on top of her. She reached down and guided him into her, gasping as he slowly slid into her aching wet entrance. Bellamy thrusted deep into Clarke. Her breath caught as she felt his dick push fully into her, filling her, connecting them.

Bellamy fucked Clarke hard, thrusting in and out of her hot tight opening. He cried out in pleasure, feeling her tighten around him. He had slept with a lot of women, and there was nothing like Clarke. She made him feel incredible as he rode her, and hearing her beg for him to finish her made him hard like nothing else. He reached his hand down and played with her clit as he fucked her, rubbing and fondling it.

Clarke whimpered with desperation, her cries getting louder as she got closer to the edge. Bellamy's fingers on her clit felt so good, and his dick inside her was hitting all the right places. Bellamy cried out Clarke's name as he came, and a few seconds after she screamed his. 

Thank god for soundproof doors. 

\---

Clarke looked at the picture she had drawn of her friends. In the chaos of realizing the rocket wouldn't be able to take off unless someone adjusted the satellite, she hadn't stopped to think about what would happen if she volunteered to do it. She only knew that it had to be her. She had caused so much pain during the grounder conflicts and Mount Weather, and this was the only way to make up for it. It had to be her.

After she volunteered, Raven had pulled her aside.

_Raven took a deep breath, and looked Clarke in the eye. "Clarke, there's something you need to know. There's a good chance you won't have enough time to get back to the rocket after adjusting the satellite, and the radiation wave... the lab won't be enough to protect you. You'll die."_

_She would die. She would have to die to save everyone else. Clarke stared at Raven, processing the news. She was going to die. But if she didn't do this, everyone else would die too. After all the mistakes she had made, she owed them a second chance._

_"If I don't do this, you'll all die. It's alright, Raven, I've made my peace. You deserve a chance to live, and so do they."_

_Raven's tear-filled eyes met Clarke's. "But Clarke, I can't just let you die."_

_Clarke took a deep breath, and looked at Raven. "It's ok, Raven. I've made my peace with it. Just do me a favor? Don't tell Bellamy or any of the others until I'm gone. If they know, they'll try to stop me."_

_Raven nodded. "Ok. I won't tell them until we're about to take off." She turned to walk away, but looked back. She hugged Clarke, and whispered, "Thank you, Clarke. For everything."_

Clarke looked at the picture one last time, and then folded it, putting it into her pocket. She needed to go to the satellite now, before the acid rain started again. As she was walking towards the door, Bellamy stopped her.

"Clarke, good luck out there. See you at the shuttle!"

Clarke looked at him for a moment, forcing herself to hide the tears she felt welling up at the thought of dying and leaving Bellamy. She needed to stay strong, or he would suspect something was wrong. If he knew fixing the satellite meant certain death, he would try to stop her, and volunteer himself instead. She couldn't let him die. She wouldn't let him die.

"Thanks, Bell. Ok, I have to go now-"

Bellamy grabbed Clarke's arm and cut her off. "Clarke, I need to say something. I lo-" 

Damn it, she didn't have time for this. "Bellamy, I have to go. That satellite isn't going to fix itself."

Bellamy laughed softly, and looked down at the stubborn blonde he loved. "Ok. I'll tell you later"

She turned away towards the door, but at the last minute hugged Bellamy for just a second, saying nothing. She had a job to do, and nothing was going to stop her. Even the thought of never seeing the people she loved again.


	5. Chapter 5

Bellamy sat back in his makeshift seat, strapped down tightly. The rocket was nearly ready to launch. Clarke would be back from setting the satellite soon, and they just needed to wait a few more minutes before the Ark was in the right position, and then they would take off, and go back. Back to the place that killed his mom, and tried to kill his sister. Octavia. What was he going to do without her? Who would protect her if her wasn't there? Not that she really needed protecting...

He was distracted by the start of the countdown clock Raven had set.

"60 SECONDS TO LAUNCH" The robotic voice announced loudly.

Raven hopped into her seat and began securing her harness and restraints. She hit the buttons to close the door and seal the cabin, setting the pressure equalizers and oxygen tanks. "OK, everyone, make sure you're strapped in tight. This is going to be a rough ride.

Something didn't feel right to Bellamy... CLARKE. Clarke wasn't back yet. Panicking, Bellamy looked at Raven with wide eyes and asked, "Raven, what are you doing? Clarke's not back yet!"

"Yeah" Monty said. "Where is Clarke? Why isn't she back yet?"

Raven didn't meet Bellamy's eyes. She took a deep breath, and looked up at him. "Bellamy, she's not coming."

His breath caught in his throat. No. That didn't make sense where was Clarke why wasn't she back yet what was Raven talking. This was NOT happening.

In an eerily quiet voice, Bellamy said, "Raven you need to open that door now."

"Bellamy" Raven said softly. "This is what she wanted. She knew the risk-"

Bellamy lost his mind. He started to scream with crazy eyes, thrashing and fighting against his restraints. "OPEN IT NOW! OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW! RAVEN GODDAMMIT OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW." He was sobbing as he spoke, tears clouding his eyes and making his voice choke.

Raven closed her eyes, fighting back tears. A few slipped out, rolling down her face like raindrops. She kept them closed, and hit the 'launch' button as the timer boomed "ZERO SECONDS TO LAUNCH."

Bellamy kept thrashing, screaming and crying and cursing Raven. "NO CLARKE WHERE IS CLARKE WE CAN'T LEAVE SHE IS GOING TO DIE Clarke where is clar..."

Raven hit him with a sedative to calm him down, ending his screams and fight.

Just before he lost consciousness, he looked out the window of the rocket.

"Clarke" he whispered softly, staring out the window with tears in his eyes, watching the earth get smaller and smaller.

"I love you."

\---

Clarke watched the rocket take off, following it with her eyes until it was too far for her to see anymore.

"Bellamy" she murmured, a single tear rolling down her cheek as he faded into the distance.

As soon as they were out of view, she sprinted back into Becca's lab, and sealed the doors to stop as much radiation as she could. It wouldn't hold off much, but at least it would slow it down. She wasn't going to survive this, but she couldn't just wait for death.

Suddenly, Clarke felt a searing pain in her hand. She looked down, and watched as a burning red rash spread across her arms. Big pus filled blisters grew, bubbling on her skin as it melted and warped from the radiation wave. Clarke screamed as the agony of being engulfed in the wave exploded over her. Every part of her body was on fire, and the hellish pain was only getting worth.

Clarke collapsed on the ground as the burns and blisters spread to her legs. As the radiation seared into her flesh, Clarke screamed and cried, begging for death to come quickly. Soon, the pain became too much to bear, and Clarke lost consciousness.

She woke to a bright light. Ugh, it was too bright. Clarke's covered her eyes, blocking out the blinding light. So she was dead. It was bright, so heaven? That's really not where she thought she was going... not that it mattered now.

Clarke put her hand on her knee to push herself into a standing position, and felt a flash of white-hot pain. "OWWWWW" She screeched, gritting her teeth. She looked down at her throbbing leg, and saw a few light radiation burns and blisters. Wait. There are burns and blisters and pain... all things death is not supposed to have? 

Clarke gasped as she realized, and looked up at the light. Her eyes adjusted, and she realized Becca's lab had been destroyed and she wasn't sheltered by anything. It was morning, and she was standing on the edge of a patch of green, and looking towards fields of scorched earth. Earth. Not heaven or hell. EARTH.

She survived the wave.

The realization came with another wave, this time of nausea. 

Clarke threw up, and then collapsed in exhaustion. Her body still hurt from the wave, and throwing up made her feel even worse. Why did she throw up? Probably just a side effect of almost being burned alive.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it has been forever since I posted, but life got kinda crazy and I forgot to update!

Two months.

It had been two months since the earth tried (and failed) to barbecue her.

Two months since she had last seen Bellamy. She tried not to think about him. It was too painful.

Clarke had made some changes since then. Some, like her hair, were purely cosmetic. The wave had signed the ends, so she'd cut her long blond curls into a bob that just brushed her chin. She'd also moved her camp to the one giant green patch in the middle of the scorched desert the wave left behind. Most significantly, she'd adopted a sidekick, a little girl named Madi.

It was nice, not being alone.

It had taken some convincing to get Madi to trust her. The poor little girl was an undiscovered nightblood, and she had watched her family die a horrible death as they burned alive in the radiation wave. She had also likely felt the pain of radiation burns, just like Clarke. That memory still haunted her.

"Clarke! Come odon hir! The animal ste stedaunon in the trap!" Madi called in a mixture of trigedasleng and english. Clarke was teaching her english, and Madi was a quick learner.

She walked over to the trap they had set and saw a small animal. She reached down and checked the small creature's snapped neck to make sure it was dead, as Madi turned away.

"Madi. You know we have to kill to eat. It's the only way to survive." As she said it, Clarke felt her heart sink as she thought about the words. _We have to kill to survive_. That wasn't what she wanted Madi to learn. But it was true.

Madi nodded grimmly, and stoically picked up the small dead animal, bringing it over to the fire. She hated seeing things die. It brought back memories of watching her parents burn to death in front of her. Their last words... she didn't want to think about that. She had Clarke to think about now. Clarke would protect her. Clarke would survive.

Madi walked into the thicker part of the forest to gather scrap wood to feed the fire, and Clarke began to cook the animal over the flame.

This was her life now. Cooking tiny dead animals caught in snares to survive. Oh, and raising an eight-year-old apocalypse orphan. No pressure there.

As the animal cooked, Clarke stared into the flames. As they crackled and danced, she let herself think of Bellamy. It made her sad, but at this moment she was too tired to feel the full range of grief she normally did at the thought of him. The glowing red and orange embers flickered, and she smiled as she remembered nights with Bellamy by the fire. And nights with him where they made fire... She felt a wave of heat flow through her, and this time it wasn't from the fire.

Clarke glanced behind her, looking into the forest to see if Madi was close. She spotted her faint silhouette heading away from the fire, deeper into the woods. Good. She would be gone for a while longer.

Clarke leaned back, gazing up at the sky. Bellamy was in the sky.

Between her legs, heat was spreading. Clarke closed her eyes, and moved her hands to her chest. She slowly reached into her shirt, pulling up the hem. Her cool fingers ran across her breasts, coming together at her nipples. She made circles around them, softly stroking and rubbing her nipples as they hardened. The feeling made her press her thighs tighter together, and clench the muscles in her legs.

She played with her nipples until the sensation became too much, and began to move her hands downwards. She slipped her hands into her pants. The tips of her fingers glided down her chest, her stomach, passing by the cluster of curls between her legs and tracing small circles on her thighs.

She thought of Bellamy. Of his kiss, his touch. She imagined him touching her, the feeling of his calloused fingers against her wet clit, her smooth entrance.

Clarke was breathing harder.

She began moving her fingers closer and closer to the hot spot between her legs. She brushed through the curls, and lightly tapped her clit. That tiny sensation sent a shock through her body, catching her heavy breath in her throat and making her moan.

Clarke brushed against her soaked opening, getting her fingers wet. She began rubbing up and down her clit, starting slow. She imagined Bellamy between her legs, licking and sucking her clit. The memory turned her on even more, and the feeling building between her legs tightened.

She started to stroke faster and faster, up and down. Her slick entrance made her fingers slippery wet, and rubbed herself eagerly. All the muscles in her body tensed as she played with her clit. The heat between her legs flamed, and she threw her head back as she came in a rush of heat.

Her body convulsed as she gasped in ecstasy.

As Clarke came down from her high, she opened her eyes and gazed up at the sky.

"Bellamy..." she murmured.

It was a cool night, with a clear dark blue sky dotted with a million glimmering stars.

The only sound was the crackling snap of flames from the scarlet orange fire.

"Can you see me?" She whispered into the dark.

"Do you know that I'm alive?"

\---

Madi woke up at sunrise, like she did every morning. She liked to watch the sun come up. It made her feel better, in a way. Even though her world had burned in fire, the sun still rose every morning.

"Mphmphpmhpmph" Clarke grumbled, rolling over as the sun hit her eyes and woke her up.

Clarke scrunched her eyes, blocking out the sun to try to fall back asleep. Her valiant efforts were thwarted as a wave of nausea hit. She jumped up and stumbled a few feet away. Clarke collapsed onto her knees and emptied her stomach.

Madi grabbed a rag from the 'clean' basket and a bucket of water, and walked over to Clarke. Clarke took the rag and dipped it into the water, rinsing her face. She drank some water from the bucket, and sat for a moment with Madi. Then she picked up the empty bucket and rag and walked away. She would start making breakfast for her and Madi soon.

That was their routine now.

Every morning, Clarke would throw up, and Madi would help her clean up after. They didn't talk about it, _ever_ , but Madi knew what it meant. She had watched her mother throw up every day for a few months before her brother was born.

Clarke also knew what it meant. She hadn't said it out loud yet. Maybe if she didn't think about it, it wouldn't be real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Clarke! Come odon hir! The animal ste stedaunon in the trap!" = "Clarke! Come over here! The animal in the trap is dead!" (I used an online translator I'm going to assume is correct)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's been a while. I was going to post sooner but then I watched the 100 series finale. It sure was... something. Idk it made me feel very depressed and uninspired to write, but I'm over that now, so here you go!

Bellamy leaned against the window, looking down at scorched Earth.

After everything he had done to get himself to the ground to protect Octavia, he was back in space, without his little sister.

Bellamy would have laughed at the irony as the thought crossed his mind if it didn't make him feel more like crying.

It had been almost three months since he, Echo, Monty, Raven, Harper, Emori, and Murphy had crammed themselves into a rocket and flown away from the nuclear apocalypse, leaving everyone else in a bunker, and Clarke dead.

Clarke.

Dead.

That one was still hard to wrap his mind around. Clarke being dead was like the sun exploding or the sky raining down turtles. It just wasn't something that should happen.

And it was his fault.

\---

It was early morning, and Monty was tinkering with the algae farm he had finally got up and running. The others were less than thrilled at eating nothing but algae soup and algae mush, but it was better than starving. Slightly.

He heard footsteps echoing off the metal floor, and looked up to see Bellamy walk in. Monty sighed, looking at the dark circles that now held permanent places under Bellamy's eyes. His unkempt hair went in all directions, and he had been wearing the same clothes for the past four days. He really seemed like he needed help. Bellamy hadn't been the same since Clarke died, but nobody had really. At least he had Harper.

Thinking about his sweet Harper made Monty smile, but the dark and emotionless look on Bellamy's face wiped that smile right off.

Bellamy looked up, and Monty met his eyes. They were dull and vacant. Bellamy's eyes were haunted with grief, and his face registered no emotion as he looked at Monty's concerned face.

"Hey, Bellamy, how are you doing?" Monty asked, like he did every morning.

Usually, Bellamy looked down and answered with a grunt, or a flat "I'm fine," and they all pretended it was true.

Today, however, Bellamy looked up at Monty. His eyes were dark and so full of pain. There was nothing but sadness and anger and rage, threatening to boil over and cover every part of him. Bellamy was so full of darkness and despair that Monty's eyes widened and he took a step back.

In a flat voice, without a sliver of emotion, Bellamy asked "How do you think?"

It was silent for a moment, until Monty began to ask tentatively, 

"You seem to be doin-"

Bellamy took a step closer to Monty, and narrowed his eyes.

Then he screamed, like a wounded animal, crying out in pain.

"HOW DO YOU _THINK_ I'M DOING. DO YOU _REALLY_ THINK I'M OK."

Tears glittered and threatened to fall as he showed emotion for the first time in months, his booming voice scratched and full of tears.

Monty didn't know how to react. Bellamy had barely spoken to anyone since they arrived back on the Ark.

Bellamy's eyes were pure agony. He quieted, and looked at Monty with tears running down his face. In a soft, broken voice, choked with sobs, he said,

"I killed her, Monty. I killed her."


	8. Chapter 8

_Clarke lay back on the bed, her hands cradling her bump._

_Her head snuggled into Bellamy's shoulder, and his strong arms wrapped around her._

_She looked up at him, both of their faces so full of love and joy. He smiled and leaned down, gently kissing her with his soft, soft lips._

_Clarke giggled and buried her face into his neck._

_"Bell, this is perfect. How can we even be this happy?"_

_His smile was warm and soft as he answered, "I'm always happy when I'm with you, princess."_

_She rolled her eyes and laughed, kissing him again. Then, she gasped as she felt the baby kick. "Bell, give me your hand!"_

_Clarke took Bellamy's hand and placed it on her stomach. Bellamy laughed softly and grinned as he felt the baby kick inside Clarke. He moved down on the bed, and put both his hands on either side of her stomach._

_Clarke put her hand in his hair, stroking his soft, silky curls, rubbing small circles on his head with her thumb._

_He gently kissed her stomach and murmured sweet things to the baby inside. Their baby._

_Clarke's heart glowed as Bellamy looked up at her, so full of adoration it took her breath away_

_He laughed a little, and shook his head in awe of the woman in his arms._

_Bellamy closed his eyes and nuzzled her stomach._

_He began to say, "Clarke, I lo-"_

**BOOM**

A sharp, loud noise abruptly woke Clarke from her dream.

She shot up, alert, and ready to fight whatever intruder had arrived. Madi needed to hide _right now_. Clarke looked around frantically, expecting to find Madi sleeping beside her as always.

"Madi ge-"

Madi wasn't there.

Madi was missing.

MADI WAS MISSING.

"MADI! MADI! MADI! WHERE ARE YOU!" Clarke screamed, eyes wide open as she rapidly scanned the surrounding terrain for Madi's familiar brown waves.

Clarke grabbed the nearest gun and sprinted to the top of the hill, every muscle tensed as she looked down the scope into the forest. Madi must be fine. She had to be fine. She HAD to be fine. There wasn't a world where Madi wouldn't be fine. She must have just run off to get berries. Except she hates berries. Then she's at the river or visiting the old village or eating or kidnapped running maybe playing with was she hiding maybe she's drawing or drowned no she swims is that her no that's bush could be sleeping WHERE IS SHE.

As Clarke's mind spun with possibilities about where Madi was, she was also looking for the source of the boom, the invader.

Wait. 

Invader?

Is someone here??? IS BELLAMY BACK?!!?!?!?

Suddenly, Madi's head popped up from behind a bush at the edge of the forest.

Clearly, she had been using the gun to look for the Ark again and pulled the trigger by mistake.

She looked up sheepishly, Clarke's gun with the scope in her hand. Madi knew she was _probably_ going to be in trouble for "borrowing" the gun and accidentally firing it, and when she saw Clarke's face...

Oooooh boy. 

This was _not_ going to end well for her.

Clarke marched over to the bush. Any relief she felt upon seeing Madi safe was quickly replaced by anger.

"MADI GRIFFIN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!" she yelled, grabbing Madi's shoulders.

Madi's eyes opened wide as she rushed to say "Clarke, I'm so sorry I won't do it again!"

Clarke sighed. "You could have been seriously hurt." She shook closed her eyes and pressed her lips together, suddenly pulling Madi close and hugging her.

She couldn't pull Madi as close as she would have liked, though. Her bump was too big.

Her bump.

Clarke shook her head a little, banishing any and all thoughts of the... thing in her stomach.

If she didn't think about it, maybe she wouldn't have to deal with it.

\---

Winter was fast approaching, and Clarke knew she and Madi needed to gather food and preserve some meat so they would have something to eat.

Wait, would there even be a winter?

I mean, the earth still turned on its axis and the sun hadn't moved so theoretically, yes?

But there isn't enough water that can evaporate and become snow?

Oh no.

Water.

It's going to get cold, and the water will freeze, and we won't have water, and then we'll all die and I'll break the promise I made to Madi to protect her and oh!

Clarke suddenly felt butterflies in her stomach. The left side, to be exact.

What was that...? She wondered, absent-mindedly placing her hand where she felt the flutter.

Suddenly, she felt it again!

It felt kind of like a little... kick?

Oh! The baby was kicking! Just like in all her dreams with Bellamy!

She put both hands and stomach and grinned. She gently whispered "hi there" to the baby in her stomach.

Oh. There was a baby in her stomach.

Right.

Like every time she thought about the reason her stomach was so rounded, she immediately felt like throwing up.

This time, though, she felt a little _less_ like throwing up.

It was kind of nice, having a little piece of Bellamy inside of her.


	9. Chapter 9

Raven looked across the table at Bellamy, who was blankly staring down at his bowl of algae soup.

Just like every night.

She sighed and glanced around to see if anyone else had noticed Bellamy's depressed state. Harper and Monty were cuddled together, murmuring sweet nothings like always. Murphy was laughing at something Emori had said. Echo was glaring down at her plate like she wanted to kill it, but what else was new?

Six months had never felt so long.

Raven had been reading some ARK design schematics as she ate, and she looked back at them now. Something about the design of the exterior panels intrigued her. She'd always known they had to be heat-resistant in order for the ship to get from Earth to space. Now, though, as she looked at the plans, she realized the Ark exterior looked strong enough to survive a descent back to Earth. Raven gasped as she realized what she'd discovered.

In five years, the Ark actually _might_ be able to make it to Earth...

But if she was wrong?

Well, then, everyone on board would be too dead to care.

\---

"No, _you're_ the most beautiful!" Harper whispered, giggling as she leaned in closer to Monty.

"For the last time, it's you." Monty nuzzled the top of Harper's nose, and she softly laughed again.

Monty suddenly looked sad for some reason, and Harper wanted to make him laugh.

"This algae... thing is _definitely_ the most beautiful," she said seriously, looking up at Monty.

He gazed down at her in the most perplexing way... he looked almost like he might cry?

Then the moment passed, and he hugged her, wrapping her in his arms.

"I love you" he murmured, kissing her head.

Harper had never felt so safe and secure and, well, adored.

\---

Harper was... perfect. There were just no other words to describe her.

If he'd lost her like he lost Jasper...

No. Monty shook his head to banish the dark thought. Jasper's death had been the most unnecessary tragedy, and Harper had almost followed Jasper's lead.

_Almost._

"... thing is _definitely_ the most beautiful," Harper said quietly, bringing Monty back to reality.

Harper was reality. Being here, alive, together with her? That was real.

What could he do but wrap himself around her, and never let go?

Bellamy had lost Clarke, but Monty was determined not to lose Harper.

\---

If he had to eat one more bite of this disgusting muddy green mush, Murphy was going to throw up.

How could this be any better than burning to death in Praimfaya?

Seriously.

Emori was literally the only thing keeping him sane at this point. She kept trying to distract him with jokes, and it was kinda working... sometimes. It really fucking weird not thinking about keeping himself alive all the time. He'd never had time to just live. Even in the secret bunker he'd stayed in right before Praimfaya, death had been in the back of his mind.

But what was there to be worried about now? Raven stabbing him in his sleep?

Oh.

Well. Yeah. Maybe he should worry about that _just_ a little bit.

\---

John looked so bored.

"You know, if this thing falls out of the sky right now, almost everyone you've ever tried to kill or whose tried to kill you will die." 

Emori grinned when he laughed at that, glad she finally got him out of that weird mood he's been in lately.

She didn't know what he was so grumpy about.

They were safe, there was no sand anywhere, no one was actively trying to kill them, everyone had plenty of food... sort of? 

\---

These people are idiots.

Harper and Monty are disgusting, Murphy and Emori are annoying, Raven thinks she's way too smart, and Bellamy is a dick. 

Echo liked to pass the time imagining how she'd kill them, given the chance.

Not that she actually _wanted_ to kill any of them.

Mostly.

Right now, though, stuck in a cold silence punctuated only by annoying giggles from Harper and Monty? Not a great place for a moderately-reformed but still volatile killer to be. Echo stabbed the slimy algae mush and pretended it was Bellamy's head.

He was easily the most annoying of them all. She may have had the tiniest crush on him back on Earth... not that he noticed.

\---

Every moment without Clarke was excruciating.

Bellamy absentmindedly dragged his spoon through the algae mush, his thoughts preoccupied with his dead girlfriend. 

Would Clarke have considered them boyfriend and girlfriend? He would never get to ask her now.

As he ate, he felt Raven watching him. She was always worried about him. Bellamy couldn't help wondering what, exactly, she was worried he was going to do.

Nothing he could do to himself would ever equal the pain of losing Clarke.

And it wasn't just the big, obvious, in-your-face kind of things like Monty and Harper cuddling that hurt the most. It was when he glanced at the moon and saw that it looked just the way Clarke liked, or when he went to get a blanket and grabbed one that happened to be the exact blue Clarke's eyes were. When a flash of someone's hair in the light made it seem like Clarke was walking around the corner. 

Bellamy sighed and took another bite of the disgusting mush.

Maybe eating something would get Raven off his back.


	10. Chapter 10

Clarke was very, very, very pregnant.

She didn't even know it was possible to be this pregnant.

And it wasn't like she'd never been around pregnant women before, either; her mother had delivered a lot of babies on the Ark, and Clarke had assisted her on some of the births, but she didn't remember any of the women being QUITE THIS FREAKING PREGNANT.

Seriously, everything was hard now. Clarke slowly lowered herself onto the grassy hill, huffing with the effort by the time she finally got herself in a sort-of-comfortable sitting position.

She wasn't ever really comfortable, though.

At least not since she hit seven months.

At just a week under nine months pregnant now- at least, that was her best estimate... she and Bellamy had sex a whole bunch when they thought death was inevitable, and her implant expired about a year before any of that- she was _very_ uncomfortable.

She kind of liked the baby bump, though. Or was baby mountain more accurate? She felt huge.

The sky was so blue this morning, like the crystal lakes she'd heard about in stories and fairy tales since she was a little girl. Clarke leaned back on her elbows and gazed up.

Almost unintentionally, Clarke found herself searching for any hint of the ARK among the white clouds. She rested one of her hands on her rounded stomach and laughed when she felt the baby start to kick.

"Yeah, that's your daddy up there," she whispered, rubbing her stomach.

"He doesn't know about you but..." Ohhhhh god.

Fuck.

Bellamy doesn't know.

How the hell was she going to explain this- _this baby_ \- to him?

Well, not baby, because he wouldn't be back on Earth until the kid was around five-

HOLY FUCK she was going to have a FIVE-YEAR-OLD KID soon...

Clarke felt faint at the thought, and she was getting a horrible stomachache, and suddenly the weight of what was about to happen hit her with full force. She had been so in denial about the pregnancy for so long, and even though she was mostly on-board with everything now (not that she had much choice) there were so many things she hadn't thought through!

Ok.

Deep breath.

The nursery was ready: Madi had helped her make a cradle/basket-thing they lined with rabbit fur for the baby to sleep in, and it was big enough that it would last the baby a year or two if Clarke was remembering small child sizes right.

She and Madi had used scraps of fabric to make clothes for the baby, although she had no idea what she was going to do about clothes as Madi and the baby got older. They'd also set aside some scraps to use during the birth, which Madi was _not_ excited to be helping with.

(Madi still remembered her little brother's birth a few months before Praimfaya, and it had been _verrrry_ bloody.)

She'd also surprised Clarke with a sling, to carry the baby around after it was born.

Clarke's stomach ache had gone away, and she was finally starting to calm down. It must have just been a mild bought of food poisoning (throwing up later was going to be so fun), and everything was going to be fine.

Working through the mental checklist of things she had prepared or was going to prepare for the baby was helping her relax. Ok, what else did she need to figure out in the next two weeks, roughly when her due date was?

Food. Clarke would have to breastfeed, obviously, but OH GOD if she had lactation problems there was no alternative to feed the baby and then the baby would starve and suddenly the brief sense of calm she had begun to feel vanished, just like that.

\---

Madi heard Clarke grumbling as she walked into the camp, complaining about stomach pain or something.

Clarke had been having stomach cramps all day, over and over again. Madi wasn't sure if that was normal or not, but she _was_ sure Clarke was going to have the baby in a couple of weeks, and that was terrifying.

She knew it was going to be loud and gross and that she and Clarke were probably going to get way, way, way too close.

She was also worried about Clarke. Madi's mom had been fine after giving birth, but Madi had known other people who died during childbirth, or right after. She couldn't lose Clarke, not after her whole family had just died in Praimfaya.

Clarke groaned again, but this time it sounded different.

"Clarke, laik yu ok? Yu nou sound good," Madi said in a cautious voice, eyeing a curled up Clarke warily.

Clarke was leaning against the wall, with her legs pulled up to her chest as she rocked back and forth with her eyes squeezed shut.

She moaned with pain as her torso contracted, radiating agonizing bursts of heat through her stomach and up through her back.

Clearly, this wasn't food poisoning.

Clarke was in labor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Clarke, laik yu ok? Yu nou sound good."  
> "Clarke, are you ok? You don't sound good."


End file.
